Dimensions of reading and falling in love with portraits
When is a book a vision, a face a whole world?
Hi there,
How’s things with you? You can actually tell me you know. Although newsletters can feel as though they are one-way messages, I like to ask each time I send one out because I like to know. Maybe you’re doing something cool and creative and I can mob you with questions on it. Or maybe you’re avoiding the rain and thinking about what to do in the summer. Have I made this weird? Hope so!
In the meantime, I’ve been doing things as usual. The big old tech report that I’ve been editing with friends at an organisation I’m not mentioning until it’s all published, is nearly done. So I am looking forward to seeing that go out into the wild.
I had a piece in the Royal Academy of the West of England open. It felt good to be a part of something where everyone else seems so talented. I felt like my work was about to fall off the wall in shame against some of the work there, but at the same time I was boosted by being in the selection. The picture was Machine Room. Here it is -
Speaking of that Academy. I write voluntarily for Floating Circle, which means I get to interview all sorts of artists and makers. It’s pretty cool learning about their lives, habits, processes and what they think about when they think about making art. You can read some here with Terry Williams, Lucy Roberts and Geoff Langan, whose work was the first AI-Generated piece to appear in the RWA Open.
As I write this, it’s almost the start of a new Lunar new year. It’s the year of the snake. I’ve never really focused on our slithery friends, so I went to see some. I’m not phobic but with some of the more active and larger ones, I was glad that I was behind a barrier. Here’s an image of the snake embroidery I did to consider the idea of the new year theme.
Face to face
I also made myself do something I find difficult - drawing portraits. I tend to avoid it if I can but I decided to face my issues and go to a gallery among others to do a few hours of portrait drawing. It was better than I expected and took me straight back into a headspace I have not been into since I last did some life drawing.
Bear with me, but when I am doing life drawing or portraits, I fall in love with the subjects. Not in the romantic way, but through the effort of actually looking at someone, the lines on their face, or lack thereof, the way their hair settles, the tone and shades, shapes and whether their eyes reflect light in ways that look sad or distant, that describe that stranger, I feel a deep affection for them. In short, when I do drawing like this, I always think the person I am drawing is just beautiful. So, even if the pictures are not going to be in the Louvre any time soon, it’s worth it to just sit and look for a while. I can imagine what it was like to look at Abramović in her performance before her ex came in and made it about him I guess. It’s tempting to look away and exciting to hold a gaze.
Read, reading, re-reading
This section is becoming messy - I kind of like that but I am reading too many books concurrently and for different purposes. Most are academic reading for my homework and the rest I am reading to alleviate that pressure to take in all the smart things that others have said before me.
I’m lucky to have started a conversation with Matt Muir about reading. If you don’t already get his newsletter, you’re missing out. I’ve been having my mind melted by new art, interesting music and just plain curious things for years now. It’s one of those newsletters that I keep. It would make an amazing pile of magazines IRL. You should subscribe.
We have been talking about internet books. Not textbooks or instructions, but novels about early internet experiences. When MUDs and MOOs were a thing and we were on the cusp of flooding our brains with digital living. This started on BlueSky, chit-chatting about young authors who are beyond the ‘digital native’ cliche and not of our ossified ideas that if you happened to be online early this is an achievement. It’s not. You were there maybe, but we participated rather than invented and I think we drag down the achievements and experiences of others when we try to make our dial up days seem so terribly important.
Anyhow, I’m now bothering Matt with conversational questions about new books that reflect, even if they are not about, being online. Those digital shadows and the background hum of the internet underscoring our conversations whether they take place in pixels or in the pub.
The books we read in the 90’s about ‘surfing the web’ are quite funny now, old fashioned and strange landscapes to those who grew up with social media. But there’s a difference in the writing I can see and hopefully this is not going to be my second ‘crazy person’ observation of this newsletter. I could ‘see’ what these spaces were like. Maybe it was the writing, or the emergence from old text-based games (Get Lamp!) where you had to use your imagination to bring those pixels to life.
As social media is all singing and dancing, text, audio and video, it feels more of a passive medium now. Like TV I guess. I don’t have to work to imagine something when there’s a gif for that.
I don’t propose we head backwards and yes, I am being grossly nostalgic (forgive me, I’m at an age where I search for things like low-cholesterol salad and is it hot or am I perimenopausal?). But I wonder if there’s a future use for our online imaginations that is more than getting catfished or fooled by a profile photo taken at the right angle?
It’s an unformed thought. As usual I’ll read more and continue to discuss it with those who put up with this sort of sh*t from me on the regular.
So, what have I been reading? Here’s a few bits and pieces with notes.
Taylor Lorenz - Extremely online. Yes a good guide to social media but, I was surprised at how many women there are in this book who pushed the boundaries. While some moral dog-end of a man might be known for owning our networks, there are some stories here that can change that angle.
Gabriel Smith - BRAT: A ghost story. I do like some body horror books and this made my toes curl, as well as being quite poignant.
Uketsu - Strange Pictures. I’m looking forward to the follow up. More description of a tight murder mystery by a cult faceless writer here.
Patti Smith - Just Kids. I love Robert Mapplethorpe’s works. As a teen I protested at a university that banned one of his books. The memoir is rich, funny, sad and full of love.
Becky Chambers - Psalm for the Wild-built. Short but deep. I love sci-fi that's not set in white, western ways of thinking. This was a gift from a friend who totally nailed it with this choice. TY!
Jennifer Cox - Women are Angry. Ronseal. Yeah, we are and she explains why. Not my favourite flavour of writing but recommended to me because I have an ongoing related project.
The Wood at Midwinter - Susanna Clarke. Author of Piranesi - which I love and still revisit in my mind often. This is short, gentle and a thoughtful escape.
Alan Moore - The Great When. Moore doing decent sci fi and maybe being reined in by a decent editor. I failed to get all the way through Jerusalem, but this is fun, active, visual and creative.
Artists I envy - always too many to choose from but here’s a few to take a look at.
bonnie2.0.0 This aesthetic is my jam.
ethez - Makes the kinds of ceramics I adore but would probably instantly break
_murugiah The colours! The shapes! I could look at this all day.
I rambled again. I’m not even sorry about it. I need to go drink in the words of some young author to keep my youthful mind ticking over…or something like that.
Until the next one,
Jx
I *adore* that portrait you drew. Thanks for loads of inspiration in this newsletter.